


Online Dating Is Hard

by KatieComma



Series: Looking For The One [1]
Category: MacGyver (TV 2016)
Genre: Idiots in Love, M/M, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-17
Updated: 2018-07-17
Packaged: 2019-06-11 18:44:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15321852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KatieComma/pseuds/KatieComma
Summary: Jack decides to finish filling out the online dating profile he was working on when Sarah so rudely interrupted.Mac's still working on his bike and offers some advice.





	Online Dating Is Hard

**Profile Screen Name: KaraokeCowboy  
Age: 35.5  
Location: Los Angeles, California, most of the time, more like half the time  
Goals in life: …**

 

Jack paused and looked up from his tablet. Mac was crawling around under that damn bike on his living room floor, tuning up some thing or another, pulling pieces off here and there. Barely interrupted by their mission with Sarah, they’d picked right up where they’d left off when they got back.

“How in the hell am I supposed to be honest on this damn thing?” Jack asked, eyeing the rest of the questions and shaking his head.

Mac sighed. “Are you working on that dating profile again?”

Jack ignored the question and plowed on ahead. “Goals in life? Am I supposed to say a white picket fence and a dog?”

“If that’s what you want,” Mac replied. “I told you before: there’s no point lying on your dating profile. Be honest.”

“Be honest?” Jack scoffed. “Alright.” He started typing, and narrated his answer at the same time. “Goals in life: Fist fight Vladimir Putin in space, read the rest of the Harry Potter books, sing with Willie Nelson, see the Cowboys win the Super Bowl, catch a pass from Troy Aikman, and fire a FIM-92 Stinger in a combat situation.”

Mac sat up on his elbows and glared at Jack from under the wheel well of the bike.

“What?” Jack said. “You told me to be honest. That right there is my entire bucket list.”

Mac sighed for the second time. “Ok, first, I would take out the Putin thing-”

Jack interrupted. “But that’s my number one-”

“It’s weird,” Mac talked over Jack.

“It’s not weird, it’s badass.”

Mac nodded his head in reluctant agreement. “It would be totally awesome, but it’s weird, and it’s never going to happen. Scratch it off the list. Second, two of the things on your list are related to the Cowboys-”

“They’re my boys,” Jack argued, “they’re very important to me.”

“One is enough,” Mac said. “The Super Bowl or Troy Aikman. Pick one.”

“That’s like makin’ a man choose between breathin’ and eatin’ Mac,” Jack whined.

“Well, you’ve gotta take that last one off at least,” Mac said. “Firing a rocket launcher in combat doesn’t exactly make you husband material.”

“I ain’t lookin’ to get married here Mac, just have a little fun is all.”

“Well, in that case…” Mac trailed off and lay back down under the bike. “Wait, what about the little Jacks runnin’ around?” Mac imitated Jack’s drawl. “Isn’t that what you said the other day? That implies marriage.”

“How about this?” Jack proposed, ignoring the question, “I fill this thing out completely honest and then we tweak it from there?”

“Just don’t spill any state secrets in case you accidentally hit submit,” Mac said.

 

**Hobbies: Guns, getting shot at, karaoke, traveling to remote locations, high speed car chases  
Career: Super awesome secret spy  
What do you look for in a perfect companion: …**

 

“This perfect companion nonsense, are we talking, looks? Or personality?” Jack asked.

“Personality,” Mac replied simply. “Don’t be vain.”

“Am I not handsome enough to be vain?” Jack asked.

“I am not answering that,” Mac said, grunting with the effort of turning his wrench.

“Alright, alright,” Jack said. “Let’s see, perfect companion?” He hummed and hawed.

 

**What do you look for in a perfect companion: adventurous, smart, into sports and Die Hard.  
How would you describe yourself to a potential companion: … **

 

“What’s next?” Mac asked.

“How would I describe myself,” Jack read it aloud. “Dashing. Handsome.”

“You know there’s going to be a picture attached to this thing, right?” Mac replied. “So unless you’re planning on attaching a picture of someone else…”

“You are hilarious Angus MacGyver,” Jack scolded, returning his attention to describing himself. How did you describe yourself without coming across like a total jackass? “Alright, so what should I say about me?” He looked expectantly to Mac.

The silence in the room was broken only by the tinkering noises Mac made with his wrench and pliers.

“Come on man. I need some help here,” Jack pleaded.

“Ok. Say something like…” Mac trailed off, his hands stopped fiddling, and Jack knew he had his thinking face on. “Say: Hopeless romantic, loyal to a fault, caring and kind with a killer right hook.”

“A killer right hook?” Jack asked. “You think so?”

“Better than mine,” Mac admitted.

“Aw thanks man,” Jack said, typing away. “Means a lot to me.”

 

**How would you describe yourself to a potential companion: Hopeless romantic, loyal, caring, kind, with a mean right hook.  
What is your idea of a perfect date: Pizza, beer, Bruce Willis movie marathon.**

 

Mac said something, but Jack wasn’t listening and looked up from his profile. “Hmmm?”

“I said, what do you wanna do tonight?” Mac asked, still under the bike. “Maybe order pizza? I PVRed The Expendables. Or, I think there might be a Cub’s game on.”

“Sounds like a plan dude,” Jack replied, rereading the last line.

 

**What is your idea of a perfect date: Pizza, beer, Bruce Willis movie marathon.**

 

“How’s it coming along?” Mac asked.

“Yeah, yeah, fine,” Jack replied, distracted by his answers.

“Fine? Come on, what’s the next question?” Mac prodded.

Jack read the next line.

 

**Describe some of your happiest memories: …**

 

Jack’s thoughts flickered back through the years. When had he been happiest? In recent memory, Mac’s deck featured heavily: the gang all hanging out, drinking beers. Sometimes just a heart to heart with Mac.

Back further: each and every day he’d ever pulled Mac out of harm’s way and found him still alive and breathing. The bottom dropping out of his stomach until he found that pulse and his own heart started beating again right along with Mac’s.

“…Something cute,” Mac had been talking, but Jack hadn’t been listening. “Didn’t you have a dog as a kid?”

“My old man had a pitbull,” Jack replied, trying to summon up a happy memory that didn’t involve Mac. “Man did that dog hate me somethin’ fierce.”

Mac smiled, slid out from under the bike and wiped his hands on a rag. “What did you do to it?”

Jack frowned. “Hey now. I resent that accusation. I wasn’t ever anything but sweet as pie to that mutt. He was just a mean, angry old dog. Determined to be mean and angry out of spite.”

Mac’s smile widened. “Reminds me of somebody I know.”

Jack narrowed his eyes. “Ha ha. Very funny.”

Mac held out his hand. “Let me see,” he motioned for Jack to hand him the tablet.

Jack held it back protectively. “It ain’t done yet. Don’t be so nosy.”

“Come on Jack, let me see,” Mac requested again, his smile widening even more.

Jack succumbed, glad he hadn’t filled in those memories yet, since he was still reaching for something, anything, that didn’t also include Mac. He handed over the tablet.

Mac flicked through the responses, chuckling here or there as he read, before handing it back to Jack.

“You know that woman doesn’t exist right?” Mac asked.

Jack was starting to get that.

“Not on a dating site anyway,” Mac said, slipping back under the bike. “People like that don’t go online.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Jack asked.

Mac sat up again, resting an arm on his knee, meeting Jack’s eyes with his icy stare. “What did you list? Adventurous, smart, likes sports? People like that don’t go online looking for love,” he added some sarcasm to the last half of the sentence. “They meet other people like them out doing those adventurous things. That’s who they fall in love with.”

Mac was not helping.

“You’re not helping,” Jack said.

“I’m serious Jack,” Mac said, dropping the smile. “Think about it. Has anybody, ever, held a candle to Sarah?”

Jack could think of somebody, but it wasn’t like he could say it out loud.

“See? That’s what I mean. It’s the same thing with Nikki,” the bitterness in Mac’s voice was sharp. “There’s never been anybody quite like her. You go through stuff together in the field. How can you come home and find somebody to be more intimate with than that? And if you do find somebody in the real world, you have to lie to them about who you are.”

“Are you actually tryin’ to talk me out of this right now?” Jack asked, waving the tablet around.

Mac shook his head. “Finish it later. Get Riley to write it for you,” Mac dismissed the question. He grabbed the remote from the end table and tossed it to Jack. “Find the Cubs game and I’ll go order that pizza.”


End file.
